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Boundaries are important. For the sports fan, in and out of bounds can make all the difference in who wins. Living in Pennsylvania, a trip to the Presbytery office in New Jersey means tolls on the way home. And we only have to watch the news these days to see what happens when one nation violates the boundaries of another.

For boundaries to keep us safe, they must work in two directions. Skin is a two-way street, releasing perspiration to keep us cool, but keeping water out. Both directions matter.

The Presbytery of the Highlands, like all Presbyterian Church (USA) mid councils, takes healthy boundaries between pastors, congregations, and members very seriously. Ministers of Word and Sacrament are required to take boundary training on a regular basis to maintain healthy relationships in their personal and professional lives.

But that is only one side of the story. We also need congregations to both respect a pastor’s healthy boundaries, and to support them in the difficult human task of maintaining them. We can have the best intentions in the world, but it is hard to live up to them. Your pastor may check on you, and say you’re looking tired. “Why don’t I ask someone else to do this?” they may say. In the same way, we need congregations, and especially the session, to check on the pastor. Clerks of Session often have more contact with the pastor than others do.

It’s Only a Matter of Time

COVID-19 has only made worse a long-standing problem in ministry: a tendency toward workaholism. Who doesn’t want to do all they can for God and the congregation that they care about? The temptation to go and go and go is always there, because the needs and opportunities are always there. The pandemic blurs the boundaries, because working at home and at the church are often the same. Meanwhile, many experience that it takes twice as long to get half as much accomplished — and so many try to work twice as hard to make up for it.

Along with other COVID-related challenges, this means that many pastors are considering retirement or a change of vocation. That may mean seeking a new call, or questioning whether to stay in ministry at all. The number of those leaving active ministry is startling.

One way your congregation can help your pastor is to give them the time they need to rest and recover. You can do this in a variety of ways.

Divide the day up into morning, afternoon, and evening. Your pastor should only work two of those on a given day, and even then only to reasonable hours.

Make sure that your pastor has two days off a week, and encourage everyone to respect that time away. Except in the case of a real emergencies, most things in the church can wait a day or two.

Highlands Presbytery requires a minimum of four weeks vacation and two weeks study leave for those in full-time ministry. At session meetings you might ask if the pastor has any upcoming plans, just so it stays on everyone’s radar.

Encourage time for prayer, relaxation, and renewal on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis. Jesus was pretty busy, but he regularly took time to go away by himself to pray. This isn’t time to vacation or to study. It is time to be. Perhaps your pastor’s day starts later because they are praying, or they take a midday walk or run just to breathe. If not offered already, explore whether a sabbatical might be possible after five or seven years in the same congregation.

Finally, as a Session, be prepared to have your pastor’s back, just in case someone in the congregation begins to criticize the pastor’s efforts at self-care. Not everyone understands what it means to maintain healthy boundaries when it comes to time. You’re in a position to say that you know the pastor’s schedule, and you approve it, encourage it, and are grateful that they take the time for it.

All this attention on your pastor may sound like time away is a one-way street, but it’s not. As pastors can take the time they need, recharging their batteries, they will have that much more energy to care for the flock.

The apostles gathered around Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. ~Mark 6:30-32

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